Same Frequency library
Explore relationship science, accessible reading, and independent ND organizations where people can find community, support, and shared experience.
Research
Khaw & Vernon · Autism in Adulthood · 2025
A mixed-methods study of 106 autistic adults examining communication, acceptance, accommodation, understanding, and partner neurotype. Overall satisfaction did not depend on having a particular partner neurotype.
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Wymbs et al. · Journal of Marital & Family Therapy · 2021
A review of what research does—and does not yet—show about ADHD, relationship distress, protective factors, and possible support.
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O’Brien et al. · Journal of Marital & Family Therapy · 2026
A qualitative study of 355 adults with ADHD highlighting emotional regulation, stability, practical strain, and the value of self-understanding.
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Damian Milton · Disability & Society · 2012
A foundational argument that communication difficulty can be mutual and relational—not a one-sided failure by an autistic person.
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Sala et al. · Journal of Autism and Developmental Disorders · 2024
A qualitative comparison of autistic and non-autistic adults’ experiences of physical intimacy, comfort, satisfaction, and barriers.
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Exell, Hilari & Behn · Disability and Rehabilitation · 2022
A useful reality check: the intervention evidence is small and methodologically varied, reinforcing the need for careful pilot testing rather than overclaiming.
Read the sourceAccessible articles can give people useful language for conversations, but they are not substitutes for research or individualized professional support.
Popular reading
Johnson et al. · 2022
Examines how shifts in positive and negative communication within a couple relate to relationship satisfaction over time.
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The School of Life · updated 2024
An accessible argument for supplementing romantic instinct with self-knowledge, psychological understanding, and realistic expectations.
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The School of Life · 2026
Explores how couples can use the same words—texting, mess, time with friends—while attaching very different emotional meanings to them.
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The School of Life · updated 2026
A readable discussion of familiar relationship patterns, attraction, and responding more constructively to each other’s difficult sides.
Read the sourceDating as a parent brings questions about time, boundaries, and family changes. These resources can help you think through those conversations without sharing your children’s private information.
Parenting resource
Oklahoma State University Extension
Practical guidance on balancing dating with parenting, protecting time with children, and preparing thoughtfully for introductions to a new partner.
Read the sourceParenting resource
Child Mind Institute
Ways to listen to children’s feelings, keep routines predictable, and reduce their exposure to adult conflict during family changes.
Read the sourceParenting resource
New York State Unified Court System · PDF
A parent education guide for separating or divorcing families, focused on children’s experiences and practical ways to reduce stress. Published in 2016; use current official guidance for legal questions.
Read the sourceThese are optional discussion prompts, not a parenting assessment or compatibility score. Avoid posting children’s names, schools, photos, custody schedules, or court documents in a dating profile. Where safety concerns or court orders apply, seek individualized professional guidance.
Looking for people who may understand your experience? These independent groups offer local or online community, activities, education, and peer support.
Independent group
Long Island · Local activities and support
Recreational and social activities for autistic children and adults, plus support for families across Long Island.
Visit the organizationIndependent group
ADHD · Local and virtual chapters
Find ADHD education, peer support, and chapter events—including options for adults and relationship partners.
Visit the organizationIndependent group
NYC tristate · Autistic-run community
An autistic-run organization offering social events, workshops, a community space, and resources across the tristate area.
Visit the organizationIndependent group
Online and regional · Autistic adults
Social groups and activities designed to help autistic adults connect around shared interests in welcoming settings.
Visit the organizationThese listings are starting points, not endorsements or affiliations. Eligibility, cost, format, and schedules may change, so review each organization’s current information before joining.